The Thoughts of SES Blog

Hello world! This is me.

Posted in Thoughts on Church by ses31 on January 27, 2010

Hello. I am not going to be saying very much about myself personally on this blog as anyone that wants to know more about can find me on Facebook and friend me there if they really want to know more about me.

As the title of my blog says, these are my thoughts. Thoughts that I don’t mind sharing. Thoughts about what I am learning as a young Christian. Thoughts about life. Thoughts about the challenges I am and will be facing dealing with my health right now.

Some people already know that I learned in December that some parts of my immune system came back deficient. But see, this is only a half-knowledge. I don’t see the immunologist until February 8, and I am very much in hope that he will be able to help find out what is wrong and determine the best treatment for me to be able to live a more “normal” life again.

I have been trying to be brave, but that brave facade is falling apart before my very eyes as each day progresses closer to the big date. I guess I need to work on letting people in. Letting them love me. Letting God love me. Stop holding back and going in my little bubble out of fear and just open myself up to love.

But admittedly, this is one of the hardest things for me.

It wasn’t until I was invited to OMPC that I truly felt loved by a church. I mean, I’m not saying there aren’t people there, like there are anywhere else who think they are better than everyone else, but OMPC is unique in that, it is the first church I’ve ever been to that the focus is more on God and God’s grace-emphasis on God’s grace.

When I first started visited at the invitation of someone who is now just a friend and his wife over the summer, the pastor was in Ireland. But the morning he was back, he introduced himself to me (a rarity, in and of itself). So, of course, when my friend went to introduce the famous Pastor Bob Flayhart to me, he seemed a little bit disappointed that somehow we’d already managed to meet.

The funny thing is that even though I am as shy as shy can be and I don’t really talk much (except when I feel I have something important to say and usually when I do start to speak, please do not interrupt me because I hardly ever speak to begin with), I am probably one of the biggest social butterflies there is! I love people. I love being around people. I love working with children. Using puppetry. Using my sign language, my music, my creative movement.  I love being friends with as many people as I can.

In public places, I have to warm up to strangers, but once I do, then there’s potential for some friendships to bond. And the best thing is that I am one of those loyal friends. I fight for my friendships when they are right for me and worth keeping.

Over this past weekend, I decided I was ready to move my relationship with God from God is this really good friend who really cares and yet scares me because He is so powerful, to finally an upward and forward move into a Father-child relationship.

A lot of things led to this point, but the main three things I can account for are seeing some good examples of fathers in my church, including my friend who invited me to OMPC; Pastor Bob’s gentle compassion that he has shown me consistently the whole time I have known him; and then there was a specific line in this past Sunday’s sermon that hit me on the head, which I will add later.

One thing I love about Pastor Bob-he’s not afraid of stepping on people’s toes or clunking them on the heads with his sermons! Some ministers would never dare to venture that, but he wants us to be more proactive in our walk, more responsible, and if that means offending someone at some point, then oh well.

But this all I have to say for now. I may have more to say later, but until then-Grace!


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